Here, tonight, with Abundant Banana Appreciation, I send to you, you and you Unlimited Love and Peace, and big happy richness of Heart, Life and Banana!
When you compare Banana to Apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, FIVE times the vitamin A and iron, and TWICE the other vitamins and minerals.
I have made many tributes to bananas.
The following, recorded in 2002, is a rendering of the first…
BANANA
And then one day I started writing a, some, and then lots of poems and statements regarding banana.
This is a page of most of them. If you have read up to this point and are excited, why not write a poem about excitement? Maybe excitement will be your passion, like banana is mine?
AND
Big and little bananas are nice.
14/3/2010
BUT FIRST
And then this turned up. This is my earliest known tribute to Banana.
April 1985
WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU, OH BANANA
Banana is a lovely thing to put inside your pocket.
Yesterday I did just that and, believe me, it was so great.
I went to a place where bananas cannot be bought easily.
And I was the only person there with a banana – lucky me!
Go to places far and wide and take with you banana.
Tell the people there the love you have for your banana.
Go away and come back with some skin from foreign lands.
And keep them at low temperatures in special bags with fans.
Banana pulls my heartstrings like another thing will not.
Celebrate with me – or don’t – it matters not a jot.
Reasons have I many for why I won’t forsake banana.
But that is my quest, my love, my life, for I just love banana!
21/4/2016
MY BROKEN BANANA
Oh my broken banana, what hope is there for you?
Oh boy, banana for lunch!
I miss my banana.
Every banana is doomed. Every banana is doomed. Every banana is doomed. Every banana is doomed.
15/3/2010
THINK
Bananas come and Bananas go, they can be given and taken. But think, think, before and after, and during. It is complicated. Do not rush. Take a moment. Give a moment. Go away and come back.
20/1/2011
BANANA TUNES
Practising banana tunes on my lily-pad
Marking the days off as bees run in snow
You were the dream of a pineapple sandwich
Blowing the bloodiest nose
I squeak your puffed banana
And the distance seems yet near
For the bumpy dog with impish trot
And lots and lots and lots of snot
Are too much not to bear
So when will when be then?
The sequence starts again
And then I noticed something else
To do
6/8/2012
ONCE
Once a King or Queen of Banana, always a King or Queen of Banana.
9/4/2010
AVOID
Some bananas
Are historical.
Some bananas
Are hysterical.
Some bananas bleeeeeeeeeeed!
Avoid the BLEEDING BANANAAAAS!
10/10/2015
BANANA POP
I love the preciousness of a banana
Pop
The ease of destruction
Goodbye young friend
Pop
Once you’re peeled your fate is sealed
Oh never mind oh never mind
Pop
It’s just a banana banana banana
I like to make them wait until they
Pop
They make my day complete
The ease of destruction
Pop
7/8/2012
BANANA MONTH
Banana Month is Banana Month and Banana Month is great. Yes, Banana Month begins. Happy Banana Month! Enjoy Banana Month. Eat Banana Month.
1/4/2010
SAVE MONEY!
Save money! Make bunting for all your Banana Month activities using banana skins draped over any handy household string or wire such as that from your yoyo or vacuum cleaner. Time to party, gents and ladies!
2/4/2010
UPDATE
Banana Month, Day 5: general excitement.
5/4/2010
SEES THE END
At the end of this week, this week sees the end of this month’s Banana Month. So in the time-honoured banana tradition, it’s time to honour bananas and eat a traditional banana.
26/4/2010
I SCRAPED MY SKIN
I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin.
What do you think will come of that?
Banana pulp on the floor of my flat.
I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin.
I wish I had done it over a bin.
I think that’s where I’ll end up in.
I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin and I scraped my skin.
Lost in a rhythm of banana sin.
Don’t look back and never begin.
I scraped my skin.
9/4/2012
B IS FOR
B is for Banana, A is for Anotherbanana, N is for Nicecupoftea, A is for Aardvark, N is for Nipples, A is for Avingbananaswitheverymeal, S is for Somethingnonspecific. What have you got?
(The answer was BANANA.)
4/7/2011
HUNGRY?
Hungry? Two bananas makes a great meal idea and is cheap at half the price.
Find out more about bananas today.
29/6/2011
IT’S A BANANA
Yellow Banana… no, Red Banana… no, Banana Dwarf. Oh it’s no good, I just can’t do it.
1996~7
POP SONG
I have written a pop song. It is called Disco Bananas.
“Disco Bananas, Disco Bananas!
Disco Bananas, Disco Bananas!
Take bananas to the Disco and Disco Bananas, Disco Bananas!
Bananas, I like them! Bananas, I like them!
Bananas, I like them! Bananas, I like them!”
(repeat 1st verse then 2nd verse, then again and again, then fade)
I have yet to work out the music but it has a beat and some words and most people I’ve shown them to think there are some really good ideas there to work on if someone out there has more talent and can master my vision.
5/2/2011
DIFFERENT
Some of the bananas have moved.
Some are different.
Not a lot has changed.
19/2/2011
DRIBBLE
Dribbled my banana on my dribbling pad. Happy for a while then a while of sad. Know that this won’t do but it does and did. Habit of a lifetime much exhibited. Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble. Oh.
14/3/2010
BANANA IN THE
Banana in the cinema, the cinema, the cinema.
Banana in the cinema, the cinema, the cinema.
Banana in the corn field, the corn field, the corn field.
Banana in the corn field, the corn field, the corn field.
Banana in the wind tunnel, the wind tunnel, the wind tunnel.
Banana in the wind tunnel, the wind tunnel, the wind tunnel.
Banana in the mind’s eye, the mind’s eye, the mind’s eye.
Banana in the mind’s eye, the mind’s eye, the mind’s eye.
Banana in the [please continue in your own way – if you like, like me, as part of a twice-daily enjoyment]
20/12/2016
BANANA HELP
If you haven’t had a banana lately, what’s to stop you having a banana, now, sooner rather than later, really? You probably won’t regret it if you go and get a banana now and eat it. Do whatever you can to get a banana.
Is there a difficulty in getting a banana? Well, just remember, a difficulty is just there to help you see beyond difficulties. If you need more help, just ask.
30/12/2014
MY BANANA’S IN A HOLE
Oh shit, oh dear, oh heck – my banana’s in a hole!
Someone get a lasso or a magnet or a mole,
a long reach or a pole,
a torch, a map, a flannel, or a tiny robot camel!
I want my ’nana back – I hope it won’t turn black.
Summon it with magic or a promise or a hope,
beckon it with bribery or poetry or the pope.
I think it’s snagged on undergrowth, I heard it slide a slope.
I hope that it will cope.
Better than I will cope.
Will someone please, please, please, please, please, please abseil down a rope?
Nope? No hope? I’ll sit and wait and mope.
Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana! Wahhhhhh!
Er, yeah, it’s all right…
Yeah, someone came along with a tiny robot camel.
Yeah. So. Got my banana back. Phew.
19/3/2010
LIKE
If you love bananas, you might also like cake. Try cake.
4/6/2010
I WISH
I wish I hadn’t buried so many bananas.
They’ve ALL gone off.
Most disappointing.
16/4/2014
CONTINUE
In spite of bad winds, bananas continue to grow. This is great.
26/6/2011
BANANA FARMER
“I’m a banana farmer, I farmed one yesterday and said hooray –
I said hooray!
A little known fact: bananas lack a soul but the goal is to end up black.
And did you know that bananas grow above ground
And they’re found hanging ’round
And they sometimes drop with a sound
And the sound can be heard from a few yards away
And the people say hooray –
Hooray!
Say hooray, say hooray!
Hooray!
Say hooray, say hooray!
Hooray!
I’m a banana farmer –
Hooray!”
… sang Linus the little-eyed Farmerman of Eastern East, two years ago this afternoon.
26/10/2010 (adapted two years later)
STOP
Ch-chewing bananas all day long
Will stop you singing a very bad song.
29/10/2010
YOU WERE THERE
When I went to Swansea, you were there.
When I went to Matlock, you were there.
When I went to Llwynypia, I am glad that you were near.
When I went to Cromer, you were there.
When I went to wash my ankles, you were there.
When I went to measure length, you were there.
When I went to summon might, I am glad you were in sight.
When I went to skip and jump, you were there.
When I went to get some breakfast, you were there.
When I went to buy some lunch, you were there.
When I went to grab a snack, I am glad that you weren’t black.
When I went to Brenda’s Bistro, you were there.
When you aren’t there, I feel shit.
When you aren’t there, this is it.
When you aren’t there… well, I despair.
When you aren’t there doesn’t bear thinking about, it’s just awful.
3/1/2015
46
Sometimes 46 bananas are never enough.
1/9/2011
MY BANANA
You’re a lovely shape, my banana.
Your shape is nice, my banana.
I like your shape, my banana.
This shape is great, my banana.
Oh, shaped banana, you are nice.
Your shape, banana, it is nice.
I like your shape, it is nice.
Yes, banana, banana, very nice.
Well, banana, it has been fun.
Your shape, banana, it was fun.
The time we had, banana, fun.
It’s time your shape, banana, stopped.
My banana squished and mulched.
My banana chewed and gulped.
My banana now is ate.
My banana skin all scraped.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, banana.
23/7/2014
NAS
Banananananas succeed where banas fail.
19/5/2010
AN SONNET ABOUT SOME BANANAS INFORMATION
Hey, hey, hey, bananas isn’t grey
No, yes, no, the things banana’s know
Why, how, what, bananas’ gotten hot
Now, when, oh, banana’s has to go.
6/10/2011
REMEMBER
Remember ALL of the bananas before you go to sleep. Remember, remember.
12/5/2010
ENOUGH
Enough bananas is never enough.
16/4/2010
BANANA
Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana. Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana. Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana. Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana.
Banana. Banana.
Banana.
2002
Nice Adventures Productions 